Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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