so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize