yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
