and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
