He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize