No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
