wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
