apparently the secret to your success is patron
only you would photoshop your dick
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
