so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
should my penis look like a turkey
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
40s are totally the cure
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
