her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
