AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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