Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
