Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
