remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
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