I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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