In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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