I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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