Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
