Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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