We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
