we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
