:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
