Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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