I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
