Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
