you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
