I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
