I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
