I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize