so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
