I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
