We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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