areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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