I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize