My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
