a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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