I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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