I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
