the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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