Pappa wants mamma naked
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize