I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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