drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
