dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The feeling are messing with the penis
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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