I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
