CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
