Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
