Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
