I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I will pee on everything he values.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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