honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize