you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
a search helicopter?!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
