butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
