that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
