I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize