You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
