I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
