The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
