My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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