Me. At least after what I've been through.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
