i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
