But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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