i don't like sucking hair
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
