names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
