You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize
